Forbidden


I feel my stomach start to flutter as I call him up. Will he be free? Will he want to see me? Years ago he made my blood pump. The anticipation would build for days while I waited until I could sneak away. When the opportunity finally presented itself I would jump. He answers my invitation without hesitation, he never hesitates when it comes to me.

When we arrive at his place we fall in to an easy routine. There is polite conversation about old friends, new flings, work and school. It took years to master the subtle cat and mouse games we play but we’ve managed. Every action is soaking with flirtation but I never make the first real move, that would be too easy.

He slowly erases the tension that’s been building since our last meeting. He coaxes a smile, then a laugh. When he pours me a drink and I let my hand linger just a bit longer than necessity. By the time the second drink is poured we are holding hands and laughing like old friends because, well, because that’s exactly what we are. There is something comforting about sharing time with someone who has known you forever. Someone who has held you up through all of life’s little defeats, who knows you inside and out, who has seen you at your worst but who still cares for you. It’s nice to shed the facade and just be real with someone who doesn’t demand perfection.

We both know that it won’t lead anywhere. We’ve been good at toeing the line for years, getting the thrill without making a move that could jeopardize our friendship. But..what if?

What if this time when he held me close I let him? His heart beating against my chest with a passion I didn’t try to quell. It would be just a peck at first, questioning and insecure but you could sense the passion is there. I can feel his lips push harder on mine as he realizes I’m not pulling away. His hands playing with my hair before slowly beginning to explore the length of my body. We might not be teenagers anymore but there is still that rush in the fear of getting caught. Time is a luxury we do not have, there’s an urgency as his hands tug down my panties. I grab at the zipper on his pants, feeling how hard he is. It’s a powerful feeling to know I’m the cause of his excitement.

I drop to my knees and slowly ease him down my throat. He groans and closes his eyes. I move faster and faster, his cock pounding the back of my throat, my tongue working the head. He can barely control himself and I love it. I bring out the animal in him. He pulls me up and throws me on to the bed. I don’t want to play more games, I’m wet, I’m ready and I just want him inside me. He doesn’t disappoint. I know he likes being on top and I allow him to dominate my body. We work in to a steady rhythm of passion and ecstasy. He brings me to orgasm as I yell to the world my pleasure. He brings out the whore in me. I push him off and get on my hands and knees. He grabs my hair as he fucks me from behind. I cum. Again. Again. Again. Just when I think I can’t take anymore he thrusts deep inside and I feel him explode. It feels so damn good when he fills me up. My legs give out and he holds me as the aftershocks rock my body. I look up at him and smile, I can feel the afterglow, the peace that this is finally happening.

But, we aren’t teenagers anymore. We can control ourselves, at least for the night. Just as long as I don’t have another drink.

Are you cheating?


Cheating… it’s a fairly common occurrence in today’s monogamous society, but what exactly is it? Just like the term “relationship” itself, cheating is defined by the people involved, or that’s how it should be. All too often, we let society’s rules dictate what is right and wrong in our personal lives. There are times when that can be a good thing (murdering people = bad… I can buy in to society’s views on that one) but more often than not it just causes stress and guilt. On the surface, it seems that most people agree that going outside of a relationship for sexual gratification is a no go. I guess this is just one more example on why I am not like most people.

When you enter a monogamous relationship, you agree to refrain from having any sort of sexual contact with another person. If that works for you then great (I tend to believe that you are lying but I’ll accept it). The fact is that it simply does not work for most of us. I have my own definition of cheating that is much more acceptable outside of ‘mainstream’ society (Dan Savage, author of “Savage Love” is a huge advocate as well).

Cheating is defined as ” to deprive of something valuable by use of deceit or fraud” by good old Google. I agree. Notice how is does not say “shoving your cock in someone else”, it’s a little deeper than that.

When you deprive someone of something it implies that they wanted it in the first place. If your partner isn’t interested in sex and hadn’t been in a long time, you can’t really call it deprivation can you? You cannot take something from someone who doesn’t want it. It is a shame when people allow themselves to buy in to the idea that sex and kink are optional. They’re really not. Unfortunately, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink – you cannot force a person to get in to sex. You can only show them the way and support their exploration, hopefully that is enough.

The next part of the definition calls in to question what is “valuable”.  I LOVE sex but, as I say in my first blog post, it isn’t overly valuable to me. Sex is great! I suggest doing it well and often but, emotions are much more important to me. When I am in a relationship I look to my partner as a sounding board for my thoughts, dreams and ideas. We have mind blowing, light fixture rattling sex but that isn’t the part that makes it a strong relationship (important, yes, but not the most important). Because of this, my relationships tend to be more open in the sex department. I would be much more hurt if i found out my partner was hiding their feelings from me, if they didn’t feel safe sharing their needs and wants.

Finally, the definition wraps up with mentioning deceit and fraud. If you you feel the need to hide your activities from your partner, whatever they are, you might be cheating. On the other side though, you need to enter a relationship with your cards on the table. If you know you just aren’t that in to sex you need to be honest about that, anything else is fraud and it is not fair to your partner. This stuff can be hard. We’re taught that sexually monogamous relationships are the only acceptable answer. So, we settle for one person. I am not saying you can’t be happy with one person. On the contrary, I don’t think I could handle more than one person emotionally. However, the idea of one cock for 60+ years makes me want to shoot myself. Maybe that’s a flaw but I’m okay with it and I make sure the people I am with are too (…now. I was a serial cheater for a long time).

I wish that this idea was more accepted. We should be choosing our mates by their personalities, confident in the knowledge that our sexual needs will be met, one way or another. If you have cheated I assure you that you are not alone.

Here are some stats on infidelity:
* 41% – marriages where one or both partners admit to infidelity
* 31% of marriages survive infidelity
* 74% of men and 68% of women say that they would cheat if they knew they wouldn’t get caught
Source: Associated Press, Journal of Marital and Family Therapy

Cheating is common. With numbers like this I have a hard time believing that it is only caused by unhappy people. I think it’s time we look at the numbers and reevaluate our ideas on relationships and monogamy – wouldn’t you?