It wasn’t too long ago that I had an interesting conversation with a pretty wise man. We conversed about a variety of things but, his philosophy on relationships was something that will stick with me. Basically, his theory was that we all had a list of 10 or so things that were extremely important to us. Nobody finds a perfect match. In fact, even someone with 7 or 8 of those qualifies was a “keeper”. Sacrifices had to be made but which items that weren’t checked off the list were negotiable.
This of course is not a unique opinion on love and dating. We have all heard these thoughts echoed in a variety of sources from the old, “you can’t have your cake and eat it too”, to the new, “there is no settling down without some settling for” (Dan Savage). We all know that nobody is perfect and, once the NRE wears off, the shine is bound to dull a little bit. There isn’t anything wrong with that in theory but, as I lay around in various settings under the warm summer sun this year, it has been dancing around in my mind. I’m a fly by the seat of my pants kind of gal and, for the most part, my spontaneity has served me well. I figured it might be interesting to contemplate my “perfect mate” a little more in depth. Consider it a light read as I get back in the swing of things.
The Perfect Mate
This one is difficult to explain, obviously. It’s just that feeling you have when you’re with someone and you know it clicks. Because of my background with dancing I tend to judge chemistry very quickly which is a huge flaw as, in my opinion, chemistry can be built over time.
If I can’t make you laugh it isn’t going to work. If I stop making you smile it is usually the beginning of the end. Relationships need to be fun or why bother?
3. Sarcasm/dry wit
If you don’t understand them don’t waste your time with me.
Obviously safe play is important (especially when things get kinky) but, when you wrap your arms around me, I want to feel like nothing in the entire world can get me. I want the strength in your arms to soothe me in to sleep the same way the strength of your hands can rile me in to ecstasy.
I can play vanilla, I can get off on the mundane, I can enjoy the simple things but, every once and a while, I need you to go crazy. I need you to get my blood boiling with your fantasies until I lose control of myself and end up a puddle on the floor, quivering at your touch.
I need to be able to have a conversation with you about something more profound than the weather. You would think that would be an easy find…
We don’t need to agree but you need to be able to feel strongly enough about something to voice your opinion about it and stick to your guns.
For something. I want you to share your passions with me whether it is politics, photography, art, music or cooking. You need passion in your life or else how can you possibly be passionate in bed?
I can be difficult at times, like anyone. Ok, probably more than anyone. I am a roller coaster of ups and downs that you may never see coming. I like to pretend that it keeps things interesting but I know how trying it can be.
10. Open minded
I have a try anything once kind of attitude and I can’t imagine how boring life would be if I didn’t. I also do my best not to judge other people or their life styles. If you are a close minded asshole I’m not the girl for you.
So, that’s my list, in no particular order. I guess it is a pretty tall order to fill but I know it can be done. Did I miss anything?
Now that the weather is cooling down and my life is getting back in to a better routine (where did summer to?!) I should be better at writing. I hope you guys didn’t miss me too much. Thank the people who nagged me about my lack of updates for forcing my butt back in to gear.