Crazy things I did while dieting


I briefly touched on the mental aspect of preparing for this competition. Now that it is over I have time to reflect with a more level head. Mostly, I was perfectly sane…I swear. I did do some interesting things while dieting though. Part of me wants to never speak them out loud but I’ve been missing for a few weeks so the least I can do is (hopefully) make you smile.
Here we go!

10 Crazy Thing ls I Did While Dieting
10. Made a list, complete with pictures of everything I was going to eat after the competition. I, of course, made none of it.

9. Craved things I don’t even like. Squash stands out as one of my bigger cravings. Really.

8. Cried over everything. It didn’t have to be sad or happy or angering and I still bawled like a baby.

7. Sucked on bagels.

6. Made lunch that closely smelled and resembled vomit and it swore it wasn’t the worst thing I ate. My standards for food were so low…

5. Contemplated whether or not Metamucil was considered cheating as it has “real sugar!”

4. Bit my lip accidentally and rejoiced at how wonderful the blood tasted.

3. Made a very pregnant woman cry because she kindly offered me a French fry. Definitely not my finest moment.

2. Eaten ice. You get double points if you freeze something tasty like unsweetened green tea.

1. Made out with someone just because I knew he had just eaten something forbidden to me. Oh, the taste of chocolate and icecream on another person’s lips… Heaven.

So, for all those who had the pleasure of dealing with me during the weeks leading up to the event, thank you. I’ll post some more pictures on Thursday.

3 weeks


I’m three weeks out from my first bikini fitness competition. I won’t lie – it is getting really tough. The diet is tough. The mood swings are tough. The posing is tough. The working out is tough. It’s tough.

I’m not keeping up with this blog and I’m really sorry. I’ll try to be better but I’ll probably fail. I know you understand…

So let’s take a break from all the sex talk and discuss my other favourite topic – fitness. Depending on how you came across this site, you might know a bit about my struggles with weight. I’ll go in to that another day as it’s personal and I’m not quite ready to divulge my real life yet. I started getting ready to compete less than six months ago but I have been making lifestyle changes for about a year. I started with just working out and it went downhill from there.

I get a lot of questions on diet and I wish I had a good answer but I don’t. I ate pretty badly until 2 months ago when I got serious about this. I’m now on a very restrictive diet that I do not suggest to anyone. You don’t need it and it’s so hard to keep doing. I basically don’t eat carbs or any starchy vegetable (potatoes, corn, sweet potatoes, turnips etc), no fruit after noon, I only eat red meat once a week and the rest of time I have fish or chicken. I also just gave up dairy.

I do a lot of strength training. I lift, bro. Interesting fact – women who lift weights are hot. It is a misconception that lifting heavy weights cause women to get bulky, do I look bulky? Exactly. Don’t be afraid of weights but please make sure you’re using them correctly or you will get hurt. Bikini competitors are judged on boobs, butts and abs so that’s what I’m working on.

My biggest challenge right now is -drum roll please- turning around in a circle. Posing is so much harder than it should be for me. It’s turning around in a circle in tiny heels for Pete’s sake! I may or may not have started practicing any time I pass a reflective surface.

There are no real secrets. I can’t give you the name of a pill or powder that will give you results. I can’t name a miracle exercise or a fat burning food. You put the work in everyday and you hope it shows sooner rather than later. That’s it. Take it slowly so you don’t burn out. Set reachable goals, baby steps. You got this!

My first attempt at posing

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My membership card with OPA

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Another shot from behind

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