Tag kink

Sexual Deviancy 101

anonymous.slut 8 Comments

I’m really starting to love this title that has been thrust upon me – sexual deviant. It fits pretty well and, like most of my favorite things, it feels really good on my tongue. The funny thing is that, in the world of kink and fetish and all things dirty, I don’t rank much higher than vanilla. Don’t get me wrong, I like some kinky stuff – I’m just not all that extreme. I’m not really sure where my general audience ranks on the kink scale (although at least one of you have found me by searching the term “real life pain slut” hee hee). I’m going to go out on a limb and say that it might be time to define a few common fetishes in broad terms. Perhaps you have heard of them, perhaps not.

Dominant: (Dom, Domme, Top, Master, Sir etc) the person that calls the shots, ties the knots, cracks the whips, gives the orders or any combination of such

Submissive: (sub, slave, bottom, boy, girl etc) the person on the receiving end of the whips, chains and orders

D/s: Dominant/submissive

Brat: This one gets a special nod because that’s where you usually find me. It is a person who generally identifies as submissive but gets a lot of pleasure from pushing boundaries and annoying their Dom(me). Why? Because it’s fun of course!

Daddy/little: Type of D/s relationship. This is role play only. The little identifies as being childlike and enjoys playing out that fantasy.

24/7: Somebody who lives the lifestyle full time. This is not very common for reasons I touch on here.

Role play: It’s like improv – with sex! There are billions of scenarios so here are a few examples: secretary/boss, student/teacher, mechanic/customer who can’t pay the bill, Master builder/lego etc etc etc Can you think of a good one? I want to hear it!

Humiliation: Yes, people love to be humiliated and objectified and it is common – you are not alone

 

I loved this shoot. It might have led to some fun afterwards - lady never tells

I loved this shoot. It might have led to some fun afterwards – lady never tells

 

Exhibitionist: That’s me! We love to show off and be shown off. We love to be admired. Jack off to me sweetheart, it makes me wet.

Voyeurism:  Those who love to watch

Breath play: aka chocking. BE CAREFUL! Not to be done alone or with someone who don’t trust with your life because that is exactly what you are doing. Funny story, I was sneaking around with a very sexy though somewhat reluctant Dom years ago. He was a sweet guy but he was nervous to push too hard too fast (which is a good thing but can be frustrating as all hell). We did some breath play but I always tapped out early and he was safe and it was all good. We were being safe. Nothing could go wrong right? Right! End of story. No, of course it isn’t. One day I was over at his place all undercover and he came up behind me and went to chock like he had many times before. This time though he hit the veins that bring blood to your brain. Insert funky chicken dancing and a short period of unconsciousness. I look back and laugh a little now but I might have scarred that poor man for life.

Consensual non consent: Rape play. This is so so so so so common. People don’t like talking about it because nobody wants to get labeled as the girl who likes to be raped or the rapist (and to be clear they aren’t – it is consensual). Rape is bad…unless she asks for it. Literally. Yes, there are extreme cases where asking ruins the fantasy forever and even the first time has to go without negotiation and I am truly sorry if you fall in to that category but communication is key here. Safe words are a must!

Safe words: “No” is not a safe word. Crying is not a safe word. “Stop”, not a safe word. Safe words are used to end an activity immediately. If things are getting out of hand for any reason the word (or hand gesture if it is needed)  is used. That’s the end. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200$. DONE. Give everyone a few minutes and then discuss what went wrong. You might be able to fix it, you might not. That doesn’t matter. You stop. This is the number one rule of D/s.

This list does not even begin to scratch the surface. Heck, that’s not even all the fetishes I can think of in a minute. I can assume that if it has ever made you wet or hard it has a name. You are not alone, there is probably even a whole website for it. We are all so different that even when we share the exact same fetishes with someone the execution is probably completely different.

There is a match for everyone though. There is very little out there that is so insane you cannot get someone to agree to try it. That’s why it’s important to humor our partners. Give their kink a try with an open mind and they’ll do the same. Everyone has a kink, if you don’t agree you just haven’t found yours yet. If people with fart fetishes can “face the music” so to speak, so can you.

 

What are some fetishes you have or would like to discuss? I’ll go in to depth about a few in the coming months. Keep an eye out

 

 

Be mean… Be nice

anonymous.slut 5 Comments

Come on by, push me to my knees and show me how you like it. Fuck my face until my throat is raw and I am gagging on your rock hard dick. I want rug burn on my knees and hand prints on my ass. Make me want you so badly I can’t help but to beg, so caught up in my ecstasy that my inhibitions are forgotten.

Or, hold me close. Let me feel your breath warming my ear. I’ll snuggle up so i can feel you harden against my soft skin. Let me explore you with my tongue. Glide in slowly as I get more and more wet. Tell me how much you want me as I get closer and closer to climax. Take me slowly until I lose myself in your embrace.

Confused?

People are multidimensional. We have different desires according to our moods and, as we all know, those can change in a heartbeat. The good news is that, as far as sex goes, there is nothing wrong with that. When I started being open about my sexuality I was bombarded with questions. Through answering them I found that I had built myself a persona. It wasn’t a lie but it wasn’t the complete truth either. I cannot be labeled, my preferences don’t fit in to neat little check boxes and (say it with me) that’s okay!

I find that this pressure to be your kinks adds yet another level of stress when it comes to sexuality. You need to be honest about what turns you on. You need to be comfortable vocalizing your needs, even when it makes you nervous. Your partner is not a mind reader – he or she cannot please you if they don’t know what that entails. At the same time, you are not your kinks. There are very few people who are always in kink mode because, honestly, it would be exhausting. Even the biggest submissive who loves to be objectified and spanked wants a day where her partner pampers her and tells her all the wonderful qualities she has. We are people first. Our relationships are supposed to be deeper than just sexual gratification.

It can be extremely difficult to “come out” to our partners about what turns our cranks. There is still so much considered taboo in our society and the less common our desires, the harder it feels. I don’t have a lot of advice on the subject. At some point you just need to bite the bullet and hope that you have picked a partner that is open minded and who values you enough to at least try. I still get nervous when I have to tell a prospective partner how perverted I can be. There are things that I will not disclose before a certain level of trust is obtained. The good news is that anytime I have achieved that level of trust and actually told a partner about my kinks they have been quite receptive. Often they are almost too eager to help me get my rocks off. I’ve had guys turn in to super mega doms 24/7 and, as much fun as it sounds, it just isn’t possible. I love to be put in my place and a good spanking goes a long way but daily? It becomes routine, the exact thing I try to avoid. And don’t forget that long-term, serious relationships cannot only be based on sex. At some point those whips and chains need to go away and you need to be able to discuss things as equals or get in to arguments or any number of other normal, vanilla things that shape our daily lives.

If your significant other feels comfortable enough in telling you his or her fantasies I hope you feel thankful. It shows a high level of trust and intimacy – it truly is an honor. Don’t be afraid to be honest in return though. It’s normal if you aren’t 100% comfortable at first, especially if it is a new concept. Like any other part of a relationship, sometimes it is best to start slowly… the important thing is just to start – with an open mind.

So go out there and explore! Break out the whips and chains, the pompoms and plaid skirts, the whip cream and strawberries. You might discover you have kinks you didn’t even know existed!

Speaking of which – I would love to know if there is any fetishes you find are not really discussed that you would like me to tackle? Or perhaps you would benefit from a list of fetishes and what they are? Let me know and I will see what I can do!

As always, tell me yours and I might just tell you mine

Sex makes babies

anonymous.slut Leave a comment

I have some really amazing news – sex makes babies. No really, it’s true! Which means that people with children have had sex at some point…and I’m willing to bet they liked it which means *gasp* parents have sex.

Can you tell me about the night you were conceived? Did your mom put on sexy lingerie? Did your dad insist on oral sex? I honest to god pray that you don’t know. As far as I’m concerned, my mother had boring, vanilla sex in missionary one time in her entire life and, nine months later, I was born. Truth be told, any other possibility makes me a little nauseous and that’s okay. We shouldn’t know every detail about our parents’ sex lives but that doesn’t mean that they (and others like them) don’t have one.

Women get the short end of the stick (no pun intended) in so many ways when it comes to sex. They get put down and shamed for having desires and going after them. Slut shaming is so engrained in our society we fail to even recognize it half the time.

Mother’s barely have time to brush their hair or shower for what feels like forever. Ask the mother of a toddler or preschooler the last time they had the luxury of peeing by themselves, that’s always good for a laugh. Sex is often put on the back burner for way too long because sleep wins out. Every time.

Things do settle down eventually. You settle down in to a new normal. you get back in to the swing of things and sex does come back. There might even be a point where you have not only showered and done your hair but you even get the chance to pull out that box under your bed, dust it off and stare in wonder as you try to remember when the last time you played with a toy was. If you were kinky before it will come back too but then what? Societal pressure will come right behind it, as usual. The mommy wars are being waged all around us, only a fool would believe that sexuality and kink are an exception.

You are a mother now… you can delve in to the world of kink, I guess (although a lot of people would proclaim “I would never!” or “If my husband ever brought that up I would *insert ignorant comment here*”) but you have to keep it private. Don’t take pictures. Don’t brag. Don’t you dare write a blog! After all, what if your kids ever found out? What would they think?!

Let me answer this once and for all. My children will be educated on sexuality. I’m not just talking about the basic mechanics of penis>sperm>egg>baby but the emotional baggage that comes with it. I don’t know how much detail I will put out there because I’m not there yet but I do believe in starting the conversation young and never stopping it. Much in the same way that there will be condoms everywhere, my children will know where to get reliable information when they don’t feel comfortable coming to me. That reliable and fact based information will keep them safe. Yes, they will find pornography but they will know that it isn’t real life. I cannot stress this enough – it is not enough to only teach the basics anymore! Thanks to the wonderful world of the internet your child is going to be exposed to it all – give them the tools to interpret it.

As for what my children will think about this blog – they are going to think the same thing that I do when I try to picture the night I was conceived – gross! But guess what, they probably won’t find this blog. There is a billion porn sites out there that are much more interesting than this, at least this blog tries to be realistic and doesn’t spread shame. Plus, actual porn stars have been having children for decades and they all seem too have survived.

Who knows? Maybe my future children will decide to rebel by becoming completely celibate. A mother can always dream right?