Come on by, push me to my knees and show me how you like it. Fuck my face until my throat is raw and I am gagging on your rock hard dick. I want rug burn on my knees and hand prints on my ass. Make me want you so badly I can’t help but to beg, so caught up in my ecstasy that my inhibitions are forgotten.

Or, hold me close. Let me feel your breath warming my ear. I’ll snuggle up so i can feel you harden against my soft skin. Let me explore you with my tongue. Glide in slowly as I get more and more wet. Tell me how much you want me as I get closer and closer to climax. Take me slowly until I lose myself in your embrace.

Confused?

People are multidimensional. We have different desires according to our moods and, as we all know, those can change in a heartbeat. The good news is that, as far as sex goes, there is nothing wrong with that. When I started being open about my sexuality I was bombarded with questions. Through answering them I found that I had built myself a persona. It wasn’t a lie but it wasn’t the complete truth either. I cannot be labeled, my preferences don’t fit in to neat little check boxes and (say it with me) that’s okay!

I find that this pressure to be your kinks adds yet another level of stress when it comes to sexuality. You need to be honest about what turns you on. You need to be comfortable vocalizing your needs, even when it makes you nervous. Your partner is not a mind reader – he or she cannot please you if they don’t know what that entails. At the same time, you are not your kinks. There are very few people who are always in kink mode because, honestly, it would be exhausting. Even the biggest submissive who loves to be objectified and spanked wants a day where her partner pampers her and tells her all the wonderful qualities she has. We are people first. Our relationships are supposed to be deeper than just sexual gratification.

It can be extremely difficult to “come out” to our partners about what turns our cranks. There is still so much considered taboo in our society and the less common our desires, the harder it feels. I don’t have a lot of advice on the subject. At some point you just need to bite the bullet and hope that you have picked a partner that is open minded and who values you enough to at least try. I still get nervous when I have to tell a prospective partner how perverted I can be. There are things that I will not disclose before a certain level of trust is obtained. The good news is that anytime I have achieved that level of trust and actually told a partner about my kinks they have been quite receptive. Often they are almost too eager to help me get my rocks off. I’ve had guys turn in to super mega doms 24/7 and, as much fun as it sounds, it just isn’t possible. I love to be put in my place and a good spanking goes a long way but daily? It becomes routine, the exact thing I try to avoid. And don’t forget that long-term, serious relationships cannot only be based on sex. At some point those whips and chains need to go away and you need to be able to discuss things as equals or get in to arguments or any number of other normal, vanilla things that shape our daily lives.

If your significant other feels comfortable enough in telling you his or her fantasies I hope you feel thankful. It shows a high level of trust and intimacy – it truly is an honor. Don’t be afraid to be honest in return though. It’s normal if you aren’t 100% comfortable at first, especially if it is a new concept. Like any other part of a relationship, sometimes it is best to start slowly… the important thing is just to start – with an open mind.

So go out there and explore! Break out the whips and chains, the pompoms and plaid skirts, the whip cream and strawberries. You might discover you have kinks you didn’t even know existed!

Speaking of which – I would love to know if there is any fetishes you find are not really discussed that you would like me to tackle? Or perhaps you would benefit from a list of fetishes and what they are? Let me know and I will see what I can do!

As always, tell me yours and I might just tell you mine