Sexual Deviancy 101

I’m really starting to love this title that has been thrust upon me – sexual deviant. It fits pretty well and, like most of my favorite things, it feels really good on my tongue. The funny thing is that, in the world of kink and fetish and all things dirty, I don’t rank much higher than vanilla. Don’t get me wrong, I like some kinky stuff – I’m just not all that extreme. I’m not really sure where my general audience ranks on the kink scale (although at least one of you have found me by searching the term “real life pain slut” hee hee). I’m going to go out on a limb and say that it might be time to define a few common fetishes in broad terms. Perhaps you have heard of them, perhaps not.

Dominant: (Dom, Domme, Top, Master, Sir etc) the person that calls the shots, ties the knots, cracks the whips, gives the orders or any combination of such

Submissive: (sub, slave, bottom, boy, girl etc) the person on the receiving end of the whips, chains and orders

D/s: Dominant/submissive

Brat: This one gets a special nod because that’s where you usually find me. It is a person who generally identifies as submissive but gets a lot of pleasure from pushing boundaries and annoying their Dom(me). Why? Because it’s fun of course!

Daddy/little: Type of D/s relationship. This is role play only. The little identifies as being childlike and enjoys playing out that fantasy.

24/7: Somebody who lives the lifestyle full time. This is not very common for reasons I touch on here.

Role play: It’s like improv – with sex! There are billions of scenarios so here are a few examples: secretary/boss, student/teacher, mechanic/customer who can’t pay the bill, Master builder/lego etc etc etc Can you think of a good one? I want to hear it!

Humiliation: Yes, people love to be humiliated and objectified and it is common – you are not alone


I loved this shoot. It might have led to some fun afterwards - lady never tells

I loved this shoot. It might have led to some fun afterwards – lady never tells


Exhibitionist: That’s me! We love to show off and be shown off. We love to be admired. Jack off to me sweetheart, it makes me wet.

Voyeurism:  Those who love to watch

Breath play: aka chocking. BE CAREFUL! Not to be done alone or with someone who don’t trust with your life because that is exactly what you are doing. Funny story, I was sneaking around with a very sexy though somewhat reluctant Dom years ago. He was a sweet guy but he was nervous to push too hard too fast (which is a good thing but can be frustrating as all hell). We did some breath play but I always tapped out early and he was safe and it was all good. We were being safe. Nothing could go wrong right? Right! End of story. No, of course it isn’t. One day I was over at his place all undercover and he came up behind me and went to chock like he had many times before. This time though he hit the veins that bring blood to your brain. Insert funky chicken dancing and a short period of unconsciousness. I look back and laugh a little now but I might have scarred that poor man for life.

Consensual non consent: Rape play. This is so so so so so common. People don’t like talking about it because nobody wants to get labeled as the girl who likes to be raped or the rapist (and to be clear they aren’t – it is consensual). Rape is bad…unless she asks for it. Literally. Yes, there are extreme cases where asking ruins the fantasy forever and even the first time has to go without negotiation and I am truly sorry if you fall in to that category but communication is key here. Safe words are a must!

Safe words: “No” is not a safe word. Crying is not a safe word. “Stop”, not a safe word. Safe words are used to end an activity immediately. If things are getting out of hand for any reason the word (or hand gesture if it is needed)  is used. That’s the end. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200$. DONE. Give everyone a few minutes and then discuss what went wrong. You might be able to fix it, you might not. That doesn’t matter. You stop. This is the number one rule of D/s.

This list does not even begin to scratch the surface. Heck, that’s not even all the fetishes I can think of in a minute. I can assume that if it has ever made you wet or hard it has a name. You are not alone, there is probably even a whole website for it. We are all so different that even when we share the exact same fetishes with someone the execution is probably completely different.

There is a match for everyone though. There is very little out there that is so insane you cannot get someone to agree to try it. That’s why it’s important to humor our partners. Give their kink a try with an open mind and they’ll do the same. Everyone has a kink, if you don’t agree you just haven’t found yours yet. If people with fart fetishes can “face the music” so to speak, so can you.


What are some fetishes you have or would like to discuss? I’ll go in to depth about a few in the coming months. Keep an eye out



The backlash

So I did something difficult last week. Okay, that’s a little dramatic, it wasn’t a huge deal but it was tough for me – I posted my blog on Facebook. Not my personal Facebook, I’m not there yet, but on a private group. It was honestly not my intention, I was asking about pornography and mentioned my blog in response to another poster’s curiosity. Either way, I put it out there.

The positive responses were amazing and unexpected. We all suffer from preconceived notions and, I must confess, I am no exception. I figured that the women on the group would be thoroughly unimpressed. I expected insults and disgust and all things bad. Thankfully, I was (mostly) wrong. I really only had one or two people come out against me (at least out loud). The main woman said many things but the main points were that my blog made me a (quote) “sexual deviant”, I was insecure not empowered, classless and desperate for attention.

Don’t believe my bravado, I am not 100% secure and confident. Getting to that point is a long journey that I might never succeed at – and that’s okay. I’m a lot further along than I was 6 months ago. However, I still let things get to me.

I am a person that avoids confrontation. Why? Because I’m mean and over the years I have realized you can’t take things back. So I responded in the calmest way possible, I stuck to the facts and to broad opinions but I was defensive. I felt like the main commenter was attacking me and not the blog (which, given our history, I still believe to be the case). For the record, I don’t think everyone can or should live my lifestyle. Find what makes you happy, don’t live by the rules society tries to force on you unless they ring true in your heart and do whatever you can to feel fulfilled and satisfied. We need to strive to define our own happiness and I promise not to judge yours if you don’t judge mine. Heck, I promise not to judge yours even if you do judge mine.

So, I touched on a few points and then I made cookies. Whoever said you can’t be a slut and a domestic goddess? But, I’m one of those people that stew. I come up with great comebacks after I have walked away. I’m emotional. I could list the flaws all day. So, as I sat eating my cookie it dawned on me.


What the hell is wrong with wanting attention? Instead of defending my choices I am owning this one. She’s right – I love attention. I’m not an exhibitionist to hide in the shadows after all. I don’t shove myself down people’s throats. I market my blog on sex positive sites (you know where you saw me!), I do not pretend it’s anything that it isn’t. How does one pass off a blog with “slut” in the title as anything but a blog about sex.

Facebook is not my target audience which is why I don’t announce anonymous0slut’s existence on it. I was asked. I put up a disclaimer that clearly stated it was a sex positive blog, complete with naked pictures. I warned people and asked that they not judge. I knew that judgment would happen but I figured that if I told people what was on it the could decide if it was for the blog for them and at the very least keep their opinions to themselves. Don’t click the link if you can’t abide by the rules. I would never blame anyone for their beliefs – I can’t read super conservative blogs without raging. To each his own or, as a friend says, different streaks for different freaks.

If you’re here you do not have to agree with everything I say. Just be open to new ideas and try not to judge harshly. I promise to do the same if you express your opinion. Take what you need from me and leave the rest. Open and honest dialogue is going to lead to both sides learning new things as long as they can both agree that there are angles they might not have considered.

All this to say, I am insecure and I am looking for attention. I’m working on the former by doing the latter. So, Pay attention! If you are here for the pictures, let me know you’re enjoying them. It makes me smile that people (both known and unknown) think I’m hot. If you’re here for the posts, let me know. It makes me smile to know that you care about what I have to say. If you’re here for both, good! I’ll stimulate you anyway I can!

I think that a lot of people like to be acknowledged for the way they look. Why else would you go to the gym? Do your hair? Your makeup? There is nothing wrong with that. It is one side of you, not the only side. Don’t let it get to you. We are told to be humble, that being looked passed is fine. If too many people want you or pay attention to you then you must be a slut. WAIT A MINUTE!! I am a slut.


I’m sorry. I should have owned it right from the beginning. I should have never denied it or sugar coated who I am. That’s exactly what this blog is supposed to be about – being myself. I am working on it. For all of you who have sent me positive notes, thank you. For everyone person who slings around “slut” as an insult there are many more who thank me for voicing their feelings, for making them feel normal. This blog is for them, it’s for us, it’s for everyone who ever felt like this vanilla thing wasn’t 100% them. Thank you.