Tag sex positive

Be mean… Be nice

anonymous.slut 5 Comments

Come on by, push me to my knees and show me how you like it. Fuck my face until my throat is raw and I am gagging on your rock hard dick. I want rug burn on my knees and hand prints on my ass. Make me want you so badly I can’t help but to beg, so caught up in my ecstasy that my inhibitions are forgotten.

Or, hold me close. Let me feel your breath warming my ear. I’ll snuggle up so i can feel you harden against my soft skin. Let me explore you with my tongue. Glide in slowly as I get more and more wet. Tell me how much you want me as I get closer and closer to climax. Take me slowly until I lose myself in your embrace.

Confused?

People are multidimensional. We have different desires according to our moods and, as we all know, those can change in a heartbeat. The good news is that, as far as sex goes, there is nothing wrong with that. When I started being open about my sexuality I was bombarded with questions. Through answering them I found that I had built myself a persona. It wasn’t a lie but it wasn’t the complete truth either. I cannot be labeled, my preferences don’t fit in to neat little check boxes and (say it with me) that’s okay!

I find that this pressure to be your kinks adds yet another level of stress when it comes to sexuality. You need to be honest about what turns you on. You need to be comfortable vocalizing your needs, even when it makes you nervous. Your partner is not a mind reader – he or she cannot please you if they don’t know what that entails. At the same time, you are not your kinks. There are very few people who are always in kink mode because, honestly, it would be exhausting. Even the biggest submissive who loves to be objectified and spanked wants a day where her partner pampers her and tells her all the wonderful qualities she has. We are people first. Our relationships are supposed to be deeper than just sexual gratification.

It can be extremely difficult to “come out” to our partners about what turns our cranks. There is still so much considered taboo in our society and the less common our desires, the harder it feels. I don’t have a lot of advice on the subject. At some point you just need to bite the bullet and hope that you have picked a partner that is open minded and who values you enough to at least try. I still get nervous when I have to tell a prospective partner how perverted I can be. There are things that I will not disclose before a certain level of trust is obtained. The good news is that anytime I have achieved that level of trust and actually told a partner about my kinks they have been quite receptive. Often they are almost too eager to help me get my rocks off. I’ve had guys turn in to super mega doms 24/7 and, as much fun as it sounds, it just isn’t possible. I love to be put in my place and a good spanking goes a long way but daily? It becomes routine, the exact thing I try to avoid. And don’t forget that long-term, serious relationships cannot only be based on sex. At some point those whips and chains need to go away and you need to be able to discuss things as equals or get in to arguments or any number of other normal, vanilla things that shape our daily lives.

If your significant other feels comfortable enough in telling you his or her fantasies I hope you feel thankful. It shows a high level of trust and intimacy – it truly is an honor. Don’t be afraid to be honest in return though. It’s normal if you aren’t 100% comfortable at first, especially if it is a new concept. Like any other part of a relationship, sometimes it is best to start slowly… the important thing is just to start – with an open mind.

So go out there and explore! Break out the whips and chains, the pompoms and plaid skirts, the whip cream and strawberries. You might discover you have kinks you didn’t even know existed!

Speaking of which – I would love to know if there is any fetishes you find are not really discussed that you would like me to tackle? Or perhaps you would benefit from a list of fetishes and what they are? Let me know and I will see what I can do!

As always, tell me yours and I might just tell you mine

Sex makes babies

anonymous.slut Leave a comment

I have some really amazing news – sex makes babies. No really, it’s true! Which means that people with children have had sex at some point…and I’m willing to bet they liked it which means *gasp* parents have sex.

Can you tell me about the night you were conceived? Did your mom put on sexy lingerie? Did your dad insist on oral sex? I honest to god pray that you don’t know. As far as I’m concerned, my mother had boring, vanilla sex in missionary one time in her entire life and, nine months later, I was born. Truth be told, any other possibility makes me a little nauseous and that’s okay. We shouldn’t know every detail about our parents’ sex lives but that doesn’t mean that they (and others like them) don’t have one.

Women get the short end of the stick (no pun intended) in so many ways when it comes to sex. They get put down and shamed for having desires and going after them. Slut shaming is so engrained in our society we fail to even recognize it half the time.

Mother’s barely have time to brush their hair or shower for what feels like forever. Ask the mother of a toddler or preschooler the last time they had the luxury of peeing by themselves, that’s always good for a laugh. Sex is often put on the back burner for way too long because sleep wins out. Every time.

Things do settle down eventually. You settle down in to a new normal. you get back in to the swing of things and sex does come back. There might even be a point where you have not only showered and done your hair but you even get the chance to pull out that box under your bed, dust it off and stare in wonder as you try to remember when the last time you played with a toy was. If you were kinky before it will come back too but then what? Societal pressure will come right behind it, as usual. The mommy wars are being waged all around us, only a fool would believe that sexuality and kink are an exception.

You are a mother now… you can delve in to the world of kink, I guess (although a lot of people would proclaim “I would never!” or “If my husband ever brought that up I would *insert ignorant comment here*”) but you have to keep it private. Don’t take pictures. Don’t brag. Don’t you dare write a blog! After all, what if your kids ever found out? What would they think?!

Let me answer this once and for all. My children will be educated on sexuality. I’m not just talking about the basic mechanics of penis>sperm>egg>baby but the emotional baggage that comes with it. I don’t know how much detail I will put out there because I’m not there yet but I do believe in starting the conversation young and never stopping it. Much in the same way that there will be condoms everywhere, my children will know where to get reliable information when they don’t feel comfortable coming to me. That reliable and fact based information will keep them safe. Yes, they will find pornography but they will know that it isn’t real life. I cannot stress this enough – it is not enough to only teach the basics anymore! Thanks to the wonderful world of the internet your child is going to be exposed to it all – give them the tools to interpret it.

As for what my children will think about this blog – they are going to think the same thing that I do when I try to picture the night I was conceived – gross! But guess what, they probably won’t find this blog. There is a billion porn sites out there that are much more interesting than this, at least this blog tries to be realistic and doesn’t spread shame. Plus, actual porn stars have been having children for decades and they all seem too have survived.

Who knows? Maybe my future children will decide to rebel by becoming completely celibate. A mother can always dream right?

Watch more porn!

anonymous.slut 4 Comments

You watch porn. I know you do. I don’t know if you are male or female, black or white, young or old but I know you watch porn. How? Because everyone watches porn occasionally, contrary to what that crazy conservative bunch want you to believe. In 2013, Pornhub alone was getting 1.68 million hits – an hour.

So, good news, you are not alone. I did a quick Google search to find some interesting statistics on pornography and, surprise surprise, six of the top eight hits were against the whole thing (my favorite was a website called “porn is the new drug”). Sigh. We all know that I am sex positive  but I didn’t realize that so many people were so vocally anti-porn. Anti-sex for fun? Sure. But anti porn?! What has polishing the family jewels ever done to them? (Seems to me that they could use a little tension release…)

The answer is nothing. Look, I understand that porn addiction is a legitimate problem. However, it effects very few of the total consumers. If you think you have a problem please, reach out, but it is such a small number that I couldn’t even find real (read unbiased) statistics on it. I’d argue that watching porn is actually a good thing for a few reasons. I’ll touch on a few here.

It keeps sex interesting. Is there a better place to get new ideas or cool moves? Couples can use porn as a jumping off point when the want to introduce a new aspect to their sex life. It can be an easy way to bring up fetishes and desires that you’ve been nervous about mentioning. It’s easier to mention a porn scene and keep things hypothetical sometimes. 50 Shades of Grey anyone?

It helps, that’s right helps, monogamy. I’ve said it a thousand times, people are not generally good at monogamy. We are programed to want variety and that’s great. But what about people who want to give the old fashioned thing the college try? Porn gives people the fantasy, you can cum to so many different types of people, crazy scenarios and hot fantasies. It might just help keep your “real life” relationship monogamous if you are buffing your banana to other stuff. There is no harm in trying it. I think even the most hardcore monogamous can agree that it doesn’t matter where you get your appetite when you’re eating at home.

It’s safe sex. The largest pornography viewers are 12-17 year old boys. Please, contain your shock. You cannot get anyone pregnant or catch an STI by jerking off. Period. Not possible. I would rather young teens masturbate than have sex as far as safety is concerned. Let’s be honest though, they do both. But every load dumped in a gym sock is one less to worry about… I’ll take what I can get.

Pornography doesn’t lead to sex crimes. Don’t believe me? No fewer than four thousand studies back me up. In fact, no link has ever been made between the two. People with “dark” fantasies might even benefit from watching pornography. An adult film is shot with two (or three, or more!) consenting adults. They can role play whatever they want but that’s what it is, role play. Watching a fantasy unfold might be enough to curb some people’s desires though. In fact, sex crimes are actually lower in countries that have easy access to porn.

Don’t fall for the hype. Pleasure is good for you, there is no shame in test firing the old meat pistol – everybody does it (Jackie Chan was in a porn flick in 1975, just saying). We need to stop stigmatizing normal sexuality. We need to stop shaming people for healthy desires. It’s getting out of hand (pun intended).

So ladies and gentlemen, jerk off today – think of me!

Shut up and fuck me!

anonymous.slut 14 Comments

At some point last year I joined one of those free online dating services (feel free to use this against me if I ever try to convince you of my sanity).  My goal was pretty simple – get laid.

I’ve been told my entire life that boys were only after one thing. They don’t want to get to know you. They don’t care about you. They lie when they tell you that they love you. It is all just a big show to get in your pants. I was raised by two generations of women scorned – can you tell? Feel free to donate to my mental health fund, this type of stuff is the tip of the iceberg.

Armed with this valuable insight in to the male psyche, I installed the app, filled out my profile and uploaded a few sexy pictures. Then I sat down for what I thought was going to be a long wait. The responses poured in. It was actually ridiculous. I’m pretty sure that I was getting emails before my phone had finished loading. Those boys! They were looking for one thing alright…but it wasn’t the thing they were supposed to be looking for.

I have never had to answer so many questions about what I did on my spare time. My profile was crystal clear; I was looking for some NSA (no strings attached) sex. I didn’t want to date, no need to waste time and money on a fancy dinner. I don’t need to know your name, what you do or how cute your cat is. I’m sure that of the hundreds of responses I got there were some very nice guys but, to put it bluntly, I didn’t give a flying fuck.

I reread my profile in an attempt to to see where I went wrong. It was a whole paragraph long – just the right length to talk about how great my personal life was and what I was looking for. “I’m not looking to date, I just want to relieve some sexual tension,” it proclaimed. Ok, obviously my profile was not the issue.

My best guess was that the men who came across my profile got distracted by my body and didn’t bother to go any further. These are men after all – easily distracted by boobs and shiny things. So I decided to be a little more explicit in my responses.

Some sample conversations:
Him- hey hows it going?
Me – great you?
Him – good, what do you do?
Me – really not looking to talk. wanna hook up? 😉

Him – hey! I’m Joe Blow from a town near you.
Me – hello 🙂 You’re cute, we should go out!
Him – sure! I love Mexican food…and Italian. Oh and there’s this little place downtown…and I work for the government…and wanna see some pictures of my cat Fluffy? He’s rather cute

Him – hey! Saw your profile and you seem so interesting. What do you do on your spare time?
Me – suck cock

(There were also a few religious nuts, cock shots from around the world and judgmental assholes who enjoy criticizing the way I live my life. That’s a story for another day)

All in all, I had very little luck. Hundreds of guys and only two worth checking out in depth. I had one guy finally come over after talking for weeks. He fixed my car. We talked. He left. Not so much as a kiss on the cheek. Apparently when he told me he could come over to look under my hood he was being literal.

I met another guy for drinks with his wife. Red flag number one – I get dressed to the nines in a sexy dress, boobs out for the world to see, great set of heels, hair all pretty; they are in jeans and sweatshirts. Hindsight is 20/20. Anyway, they were in an open relationship and she travelled a lot for work. Perfect right? His emotional needs were obviously being met. I could come in, get off and leave. He was the most boring human being I have ever met in my entire life. It was painful. When he opened his mouth I had fantasies of putting my finger so far up my nose I could scramble my brain. It’s not just that he didn’t stop talking (I’m a pretty social person) it was that he had nothing to say. Here is a guy who is “living the dream” in an open relationship and I don’t even get a hint of sexuality from him. I was getting desperate though so I invited him out to a club for a drink. No amount of alcohol could convince me to look past how dull he was. He was cute though. If he had been smart he would have kept his mouth shut and I would have been all over that.

Guys – JUST SHUT UP AND FUCK ME!!!! I understand that this goes against everything you’ve been taught. I understand that “nice girls” want you to get to know them first. But, let’s be honest here, every once and a while isn’t sex just for orgasm’s sake wonderful?

You and I are not going to date. You’re not bringing me home to your mother – nobody needs to know about the dirty, perverted things we did behind closed doors (or in the bathroom of the club, or in the back of your car, or on that park bench..) and isn’t that the best part? Doesn’t that tempt you? It sounds pretty darn amazing to me. Sex without strings is sex without judgment and there are few things in life more awesome than that.

So, if you see me floating around the internet looking for a nice hard cock, do everyone a favor —

SHUT UP AND FUCK ME!