Halloween meet and greet

A week isn’t exactly a long stretch but it sure can change everything. You may have noticed that I was slowly getting my feet wet in the swinger’s scene and I was quite enjoying it. It doesn’t quite scratch the itch of my cheating fetish but it is an interesting way to get some variety. I love me some variety.

On Saturday I went to a “meet and greet” in the community for like minded individuals but unfortunately I did not meet anyone. There was someone there I knew and we had a good time. I won’t go in to any details out of respect for the individuals involved but let’s just say I’ve never been groped by a man in a cape before. The incident has made me rethink my feelings about open relationships and made it painfully obvious that I need a refresher course on this lifestyle and the different dynamics in it so, expect a few more swinging posts in the weeks to come.

Until then I’ll just post a few pictures of my Halloween costume.

I was catwoman in a latex catsuit and leather corset. I spent the night covered in silicon lube and sweat. Yum!





Swinger’s club FAQ

My relatively conservative town has recently opened a swingers bar. I’m actually kind of thrilled about it, so much so that I went both nights of the opening weekend. I’m sure I’ll be back way more often than I care to admit so I’m going to delay getting in to the juicy details. Instead I’m going to bore you with some frequently asked questions in the hopes that I’ll see you there soon.

1. Can anyone go?
Pretty much. Couples and single women are welcome every night at most bars whereas single men tend to only be allowed in on certain nights.

2. How does payment work?
In order for swingers bars to operate legally in Canada they must be members only. Membership at the new bar I’m attending is only 20$ a year (for singles or for a couples) but I have seen upwards of 80$ so be sure to ask. There is also a 30$ night fee.

3. How do you become a member?
Bring ID and pay the fee.

4. So people just have sex everywhere?
They can. I usually see sexual activities like kissing in the public space and full sex in the designated area. The club will let you know how it works

5. Do I have to have sex?
No it is pretty safe to assume nobody is going to force you to spread your legs. You might be surprised at how much you want to though.

6. Is it safe?
I would argue that it is safer than a regular bar. People tend to be very polite, they communicate well and they watch out for each other. People are all there for different reasons but everyone is there to have fun and are respectful.

8. If I’m not going for sex why go?
Because it is too much fun! The music is amazing, the crowd is laid back and sexy, there is usually stripper poles. What more do you want?

9. Isn’t it awkward?
It’s as awkward as you make it. I’m really social and I thrive in situations where talking to strangers is encouraged but you can stick to yourself and have a good time too.

10. Is it rude to insist on protection?
It’s rude not to. There are condoms everywhere and you need to use them.

11. How do I have sex with strangers?
Well this one is a bit harder. Communication is usually key here. If you are interested in someone, talk to them, and listen. Take the hint. Don’t bug them, don’t orbit them all night and don’t just walk up and lick them (also a great way to prevent Ebola. Just saying).
You can also just do what I do and point at them from one of the beds with a come hither look. Whatever works for you.

I started going to this type of bar a few years ago but the good ones were 6 hours away so it was few and far between. I love them and I’m so thankful that there is one close by. I understand how nerve wracking it can be to put yourself in an unknown, sexually charged situation. We have these ideas in our minds of 1970s key parties with bad music, shag carpet and moustaches (maybe that’s just me) but it isn’t the case.

I found a few couples I’m looking forward to getting to know, without the promise of sex. These are people that are open minded and fun. Yes, there is always going to be a few freaks thrown in to the mix but that’s where the excitement comes in. Why not check it out? You have nothing to lose

…except maybe your panties

The bar


The play space



The pole and I


Choosing your tinder picture

I joined tinder; strictly for educational purposes, I swear. I have to say that I enjoy it more than I should. There is something mildly addicting and extremely satisfying about judging someone in a second and swiping them either left or right. Oh, the power!

The guys I have been matched with are, so far, pretty boring. I’m slowly building a small army of them though so that’s fun. With my vast knowledge, gathered from almost 2 weeks of being on the app, I have decided to help you. Because this app is made for quick decisions based solely on your first picture you need to know what isn’t going to work. That’s where I come in.

10 things to avoid in your tinder picture
1. Half your face
If you’re picture is a super close up of half your face I’m going to assume you bare a striking resemblance to the phantom of the opera. No way I risk going out for a drink with a guy that might only have half a face and a history of kidnapping.

2. Group of guys
I’m always going to guess you’re the weirdest looking one. That might be a good strategy if you’re looking for someone who won’t judge you for your appearance but if that’s the case, tinder probably isn’t the site for you.

3. Your girlfriend
Take a second and at least crop her out. If you are looking to include her in the fun that’s great but if you’re cheating this is a stupid mistake. Really stupid.

4. Ducklips
Did you know that men do this? It’s bad enough that this is the go to pose for women but guys, come on! You look ridiculous. I saw a guy who had 5 pictures and every single one was his impersonation of a duck. I laughed so hard it was a challenge to swipe him to the left. Maybe that was his intent.

5. Monkeys
Am I missing something here? I saw more than one guy whose picture was just him and a monkey. Just hanging out like “this? Oh it’s nothing. Just my monkey”. It’s weird. I’m wondering if it’s some sort of code to see if I’m in to interspecies erotica. I’m not.

6. Your cat
I know I come off as a cat hater in all my dating site posts but I’m saying it again. I don’t want to see you with a cat. It comes off as slightly creepy when your picture is just you staring intensely at me with a cat on your shoulder.

7. Pink suit
Did you know they still make crushed velvet suits in a variety of colours? You didn’t? Probably because they really shouldn’t. Now, if you are a funny guy and I can see you are at a costume party then maybe, maybe, you can get away with it. Probably not though.

8. Drugs and alcohol
I get it, you’re a baller. It comes off as immature and kind of stupid when you broadcast it to the world though.

9. Guns
Really?? Ok, this should be a no brainer. I’m not going out to meet a stranger from the Internet that boasts his gun ownership to the masses. I saw that movie, it didn’t end well.

10. Nothing
If your picture is a funny meme I’m assuming you make the half face guy look like a god.

So, there you have it, ten things to avoid when you choose your picture. I would say I hope they helped you but to be honest I like to think you’re smart enough to have figured them out already.

A word on polyamory

A little disclaimer: I’m not saying that this lifestyle doesn’t work for people. I’m sure it does and, in fact, I have seen it.

I cannot imagine a day where I would be emotionally mature enough to even consider this possibility. I love everything about dating from the NRE to the sex. I am not the monogamous type and the idea of sleeping with one person for the rest of my life is unacceptable for me. Most people would agree that I should be able to enter in to a polyamorous relationship and make it work. Well, most people who don’t know me perhaps.

In reality I am the last person who should be attempting that type of commitment. Why? That’s easy.

1. I know that sex is not love

There is a huge difference between being in to swinging (having sex with others with or without your partner present but with consent) and being polyamorous. I can happily help another person suck you off but the idea of you holding hands with someone is too much for me.

2. Jealousy/competition

I need to win. In a relationship where my partner was dating more than one person I would constantly be questioning if I was good enough. Who is better in bed? Who does he love more? Who is the better cook? Scrabble player? Who is more interesting? Funny? It’s exhausting.

3. Time

There is never enough is there? We all know that dating one person is hard enough to devote enough energy in to, now splitting that in two? Too much work. Plus, I’m really bad at scheduling.

4. Love

I know it happens but I cannot imagine loving two people, equally, at the same time. Best case scenario is that I find a way but then what? I wouldn’t know how to do that long term. Someone would end up getting hurt and, if I truly loved both people, I would want to spare their feelings.

5. Anger

I’ll be as honest as I can be – I’m a pretty awful person. I can see myself getting in to a fight with one person and running to the other person. That cannot be healthy. I would end up breeding jealousy, competition and resentment which aren’t exactly the hallmarks of a good relationship.

6. Family

I come from a very conservative background. Luckily, your family should never know about your sex life. This is kind of difficult when you are bringing two people to thanksgiving.

7. Communication

I’m not so great at it. Until I am able to actually communicate my needs, my fears and my problems in a healthy way I’m just setting myself up for hell by being in a polyamous relationship.

8. Stability

I don’t know that I will ever be in a relationship that is stable enough or long enough to consider this option. I truly believe that you have to be in a good place with the person you are with before you add others or it just feels fake to me. It’s like you are hiding from the problems or trying to escape them instead of face them.

9. Commitment issues

I got em! Heck, I couldn’t even stick with this list long enough to make it to number 10.

I truly envy those people in healthy poly relationships. It is something that I will never rule out completely as it has interested me for a long time. I just don’t think it is very plausible for me, not now at least.

Let’s dance

I went out this weekend for the first time in a long time. We are enjoying one of the last warm weekends for the next 8 months (yay Canada), a good DJ is touring and I was in the mood for a drink of two. In short, the conditions were perfect for a hot night on the town.

When I go out I like to dress up – high heels, tight dresses, make up and hair done. I want you to look at me and like what you see. I go out to dance and this bar had a great vibe. The floor was full but not crowded and the DJ was playing tracks that made you move.

I spotted him at a nearby table and smiled when our eyes met. Game on. I kept glancing over hoping to see that he was checking me out and I wasn’t disappointed. He couldn’t keep his eyes off me as I swayed to the beat of the music. I flirted that way for a while, dancing more and more seductively until I had given up hope that he would come over. I had had a few drinks and I was having a pretty good time all by myself. My hips became one with the baseline as I moved my hands up and down my body, caressing my best assets, feeling sexy. I looked up and suddenly he was there.

He threw some clichĂ©s at me and I got bored quickly. I hate small talk and I don’t do pick up lines so, I decided to take control. I grabbed him by the hand and lead him deeper on to the dance floor. He had two left feet so I had to lead. Grinding my ass on to his cock, I felt him get hard. I guided his hand along the length of my body until they reached my wet pussy. We danced like this for a while, with me teasing him and getting closer to climax until neither of us could take it anymore.

Glances were exchanged and it was his turn to take my hand. He lead me up several flights of stairs in to a small bathroom at the back of the venue. We bashed in to the door as we kissed passionately. I dropped to my knees and pulled down his pants, desperately wanting to feel his cock in my throat. He was already rock hard. All for me.

I sucked him hungrily, taking special care not to neglect his balls with my tongue. The dirty bathroom floor was hurting my knees but I didn’t care. That look in a man’s eyes when they are enjoying my oral skills makes me forget everything around me. Once he was dripping with my spit I started working him up and down with my hand to the beat of the music from down below. I forced him deeper in to my throat until I was gagging up thick slimy spit all over him, dripping down my face on to my tits in my low cut dress. I stopped for a moment to look up and appreciate my handiwork.

“More?” I asked coyly.

He just groaned and grabbed the back of my head, forcing his cock all the way down my throat. I could feel his strength as he finally let his animalistic side take control. Fuck my face. Harder. Harder. Make me gag. Come on!! I felt the warm wetness as I tasty his salty treat. Yum. I love a good night out at the club.

“Can I get your number?” He asked

I smiled as I walked away without a word.


I feel my stomach start to flutter as I call him up. Will he be free? Will he want to see me? Years ago he made my blood pump. The anticipation would build for days while I waited until I could sneak away. When the opportunity finally presented itself I would jump. He answers my invitation without hesitation, he never hesitates when it comes to me.

When we arrive at his place we fall in to an easy routine. There is polite conversation about old friends, new flings, work and school. It took years to master the subtle cat and mouse games we play but we’ve managed. Every action is soaking with flirtation but I never make the first real move, that would be too easy.

He slowly erases the tension that’s been building since our last meeting. He coaxes a smile, then a laugh. When he pours me a drink and I let my hand linger just a bit longer than necessity. By the time the second drink is poured we are holding hands and laughing like old friends because, well, because that’s exactly what we are. There is something comforting about sharing time with someone who has known you forever. Someone who has held you up through all of life’s little defeats, who knows you inside and out, who has seen you at your worst but who still cares for you. It’s nice to shed the facade and just be real with someone who doesn’t demand perfection.

We both know that it won’t lead anywhere. We’ve been good at toeing the line for years, getting the thrill without making a move that could jeopardize our friendship. But..what if?

What if this time when he held me close I let him? His heart beating against my chest with a passion I didn’t try to quell. It would be just a peck at first, questioning and insecure but you could sense the passion is there. I can feel his lips push harder on mine as he realizes I’m not pulling away. His hands playing with my hair before slowly beginning to explore the length of my body. We might not be teenagers anymore but there is still that rush in the fear of getting caught. Time is a luxury we do not have, there’s an urgency as his hands tug down my panties. I grab at the zipper on his pants, feeling how hard he is. It’s a powerful feeling to know I’m the cause of his excitement.

I drop to my knees and slowly ease him down my throat. He groans and closes his eyes. I move faster and faster, his cock pounding the back of my throat, my tongue working the head. He can barely control himself and I love it. I bring out the animal in him. He pulls me up and throws me on to the bed. I don’t want to play more games, I’m wet, I’m ready and I just want him inside me. He doesn’t disappoint. I know he likes being on top and I allow him to dominate my body. We work in to a steady rhythm of passion and ecstasy. He brings me to orgasm as I yell to the world my pleasure. He brings out the whore in me. I push him off and get on my hands and knees. He grabs my hair as he fucks me from behind. I cum. Again. Again. Again. Just when I think I can’t take anymore he thrusts deep inside and I feel him explode. It feels so damn good when he fills me up. My legs give out and he holds me as the aftershocks rock my body. I look up at him and smile, I can feel the afterglow, the peace that this is finally happening.

But, we aren’t teenagers anymore. We can control ourselves, at least for the night. Just as long as I don’t have another drink.

My perfect somebody

It wasn’t too long ago that I had an interesting conversation with a pretty wise man. We conversed about a variety of things but, his philosophy on relationships was something that will stick with me. Basically, his theory was that we all had a list of 10 or so things that were extremely important to us. Nobody finds a perfect match. In fact, even someone with 7 or 8 of those qualifies was a “keeper”. Sacrifices had to be made but which items that weren’t checked off the list were negotiable.

This of course is not a unique opinion on love and dating. We have all heard these thoughts echoed in a variety of sources from the old, “you can’t have your cake and eat it too”, to the new, “there is no settling down without some settling for” (Dan Savage). We all know that nobody is perfect and, once the NRE wears off, the shine is bound to dull a little bit. There isn’t anything wrong with that in theory but, as I lay around in various settings under the warm summer sun this year, it has been dancing around in my mind. I’m a fly by the seat of my pants kind of gal and, for the most part, my spontaneity has served me well. I figured it might be interesting to contemplate my “perfect mate” a little more in depth. Consider it a light read as I get back in the swing of things.

The Perfect Mate
1. Chemistry
This one is difficult to explain, obviously. It’s just that feeling you have when you’re with someone and you know it clicks. Because of my background with dancing I tend to judge chemistry very quickly which is a huge flaw as, in my opinion, chemistry can be built over time.

2. Laughter
If I can’t make you laugh it isn’t going to work. If I stop making you smile it is usually the beginning of the end. Relationships need to be fun or why bother?

3. Sarcasm/dry wit
If you don’t understand them don’t waste your time with me.

4. Safety
Obviously safe play is important (especially when things get kinky) but, when you wrap your arms around me, I want to feel like nothing in the entire world can get me. I want the strength in your arms to soothe me in to sleep the same way the strength of your hands can rile me in to ecstasy.

5. Kink
I can play vanilla, I can get off on the mundane, I can enjoy the simple things but, every once and a while, I need you to go crazy. I need you to get my blood boiling with your fantasies until I lose control of myself and end up a puddle on the floor, quivering at your touch.

6. Intellect
I need to be able to have a conversation with you about something more profound than the weather. You would think that would be an easy find…

7. Opinions
We don’t need to agree but you need to be able to feel strongly enough about something to voice your opinion about it and stick to your guns.

8. Passion
For something. I want you to share your passions with me whether it is politics, photography, art, music or cooking. You need passion in your life or else how can you possibly be passionate in bed?

9. Patience
I can be difficult at times, like anyone. Ok, probably more than anyone. I am a roller coaster of ups and downs that you may never see coming. I like to pretend that it keeps things interesting but I know how trying it can be.

10. Open minded
I have a try anything once kind of attitude and I can’t imagine how boring life would be if I didn’t. I also do my best not to judge other people or their life styles. If you are a close minded asshole I’m not the girl for you.

So, that’s my list, in no particular order. I guess it is a pretty tall order to fill but I know it can be done. Did I miss anything?

Now that the weather is cooling down and my life is getting back in to a better routine (where did summer to?!) I should be better at writing. I hope you guys didn’t miss me too much. Thank the people who nagged me about my lack of updates for forcing my butt back in to gear.


This is personal

I entered the “sex trade” at the ripe old age of 18. I don’t want to say that I was basically a child but, when when I look back it feels like it was a life time ago. I was so young! I’m sure that, if I’m lucky, in 5 years I’ll look back and think the same thing but, nonetheless, it needs to be said. I started stripping in a crappy little bar far from the beaten path. It was a family owned place where the bouncers were the dealers and it wasn’t uncommon for bikers to drive right in to the bar or punches to be thrown. I mean it wasn’t roadhouse or anything but it wasn’t the classiest place either. Although I’ve since changed career paths (that’s a liberal way of putting it) the same question comes up almost every time I work – “how did you start?” With all the publicity surrounding bill c36 and with it the talk of trafficking, exploitation and survival sex, I feel compelled to finally put it on (digital) paper.

I’d like to say I’m not the average sex worker but the more I look in to this the more I have to admit that there is no “average” sex worker. I came from a single parent household in the suburbs. My mother had me when she was only 18 and my father passed away when I was 5 years old. My mom did really well for me. Well, apart from the physical abuse that ended in my getting removed from the home when I was 14. I was returned at 15 without any support and ended up back in care shortly after. I was the stereotypical 16 year old girl so naturally I knew everything. Consequentially, I left on my birthday to go back home. My mom kicked me out within a week and I was brought to a homeless shelter downtown in the back of a cruiser.

I know that, so far, this post doesn’t seem like a positive one. C36 is doing a good job of bringing our stories up in a certain light. They are making us all out to be weak and scared and hopeless. They are saying that all sex work is survival based. The first part of my story is sad. It isn’t a great tale of empowerment and choice and self worth. It is a story of failure – mine for the way I made rash decisions, my mother’s for giving up but also the government’s for lack of support when my mother needed it or when I ended up in that homeless shelter a scared, vulnerable 16 year old from the ‘burbs. I needed real help but instead I learned a valuable lesson – nobody cares. I mean that in the best possible way. Everyone is so entitled in this day and age but, guess what? In the real world nobody owes any more than anyone else. I remember calling everyone from old social workers to my high school vice principal and all I got was sympathy. So, within a few hours I hit the streets looking for my own solutions.

Did I find them? Well, kind of. I ran in to a man almost four times my age who used to date my mother. Shock factor. He offered me a place to crash that was safer than the shelter and I jumped at the opportunity. We never discussed any form of payment but I went on to date him for 2.5 years (from the time I was 16 until I was 18 and he was 40 until 42). He was a low level drug dealer and didn’t have much but he offered a roof over my head and food in my stomach while I went to school. What did I offer? Sex. I can sugarcoat it with delusions of love and labels like “relationship” but let’s be honest – we had a mutually beneficial relationship. He had always been very controlling. I wasn’t allowed to work, I had few friends and he was jealous. “Unhappy” doesn’t cover it. I was weak and scared and hopeless. I was surviving but at the cost of my emotional well being and sanity. On my 18th birthday I stared in my bathroom mirror in tears, frantically arranging my hair over bald spots. It was falling out in clumps due to stress. I was prescribed sleeping pills shortly after and frequently popped them in an attempt to sleep through the more volatile arguments that erupted daily. I was never faithful to that man. I was never attracted to him sexually. I can say a lot of negative things about that point in my life but it was also probably my most influential period. It opened my mind sexually, I forged strong beliefs on sex and love and learned to fuck with a smile on my face while questioning every single decision I had ever made in my life. I had sex with him daily as I fell in love with someone else but I stayed with him because I felt I had no other choice. When C36 talks about survival sex work do they realize it happens outside of prostitution? What I was doing was survival sex work, the only difference is that I only had one client who had some very pimp like qualities. I understand that these victims need help. In many ways I was lucky; however flawed and abusive my relationship was, I was at least protected by the law. I did what I did to survive as best as I could but, had I been brave enough, I could have relied on police support when he started leaving bruises. The only person to blame for not doing so is me. I did things I regret to keep myself above water but I had protection if I needed it.

Eventually, things got to be too much. I should have left him so many times but he knew I didn’t have any options and he capitalized on that fact. I had no job, no money, no chance. He had spent years making me feel worthless. My confidence was so low that he had me convinced that I was unlovable and he was doing me a favor by being with me. I had an amazing friend that never gave up on me. Eventually, I was ready to leave. I still didn’t have money or a job but I was determined when I told him this was the end. “What will you do?” he asked. Million dollar question. We had been going to strip clubs often since I turned of age and it was obvious that there was quick money to be made so I told him I would dance. Part of me hoped that he would promise to change and save me from having to. But, he didn’t even bother to lie. As he drove me in for my first shift I was so scared. He told me he’d be there when I failed. I felt a switch flip. I couldn’t live like this anymore, I wouldn’t.

In a few weeks I was able to move out. Sex work saved me. Sex work was a major component in turning my life around in a positive way. In that dingy bar where rough looking men paid to get lap dances I met some of the kindest and most understanding people. I formed relationships with the girls that continue to inspire me with their resilience and hard work. Some of them came from scary and dangerous places, some of them didn’t. Like all sex workers that I have met, they did their job. We have our good days and our bad days just like anybody else but the rent gets paid and food gets put on the table. Yes, I took my clothes off for 20$ a song back then but I got so much more than that. C36 fails to realize is that sex work can save people. Those who don’t want to do it need help and support, we all know that. However, most of the people affected by the proposed law are consenting adults. This may or may not be their dream job but it is their choice. How many people love their jobs every single day? Who dreams of being a garbage man for example? Or a statistician? Or any number of other things? That doesn’t mean sex work isn’t work. We are adults. Trust us to make out own choices. Trust that we don’t need or want your handouts, we don’t need to be saved. We need what everyone, in every job and life situation needs – support. We need to feel safe. We need to know that law enforcement will be on the case when we need them. It is said that sex work can never be made safe so it is better to attempt to stop it. That’s an excuse. You can make us safe by giving us safe access to the law. When clients know that abuse and harassment will not be tolerated, when we can get personal details from them such as their names without losing them, when we know we can come to you without being stigmatized – then we will be safe. 20 million dollars can do a lot of good for people who feel trapped. We already have laws to fight exploitation, trafficking and underage sex. We are already in a position to help victims that are present in this work (another symptom of forcing anything underground where the criminal element preys). By lumping consenting adults in with people who legitimately need help you are only making things worse. You are putting us in danger. You are risking our very lives by forcing us deeper underground and dancing around the issue that, even though what I’m doing isn’t illegal, everything surrounding it including my clients is criminal. Sex work will never go away. Even with this bill, survival based sex work will continue. The only thing that politicians are going to be successful in eliminating is our hope. They will push us in to danger and we will die. C36, “the protection if communities and exploited persons act”, isn’t dealing with any of the tough truths about why men and women feel the need to turn to this line of work. It is ignoring those of us who are not exploited because we are not considered to be moral, upstanding citizens although so many of us are. It is brushing the fact that the most vulnerable of those targeted (street level workers) will end up in jail, deeper in poverty or six feet under. It will turn clients in to criminals and they will no longer be valuable sets of eyes and ears. If they fear going to prison or being outed they will not come to you with fears of trafficking or under aged victims. Those of us who are happy in our jobs risk being forced to find new work where we will make less money, work more hours and accumulate more debt instead of stimulating the economy. Some will be forced on to welfare while others will no longer have the flexibility to raise families or go to school. I have never claimed to have all the answers because, I don’t. I do know that this bill is nowhere near being ready and rushing it through to help a political agenda is putting us all at risk. Let’s hope that there are major changes before it passes.


Fitness shots

This was the night before competition. I have to thank my team for being a constant support. They were patient beyond all measure and I was lucky to have two amazing people in my corner. Thank you, no words can describe what you mean to me.








Crazy things I did while dieting

I briefly touched on the mental aspect of preparing for this competition. Now that it is over I have time to reflect with a more level head. Mostly, I was perfectly sane…I swear. I did do some interesting things while dieting though. Part of me wants to never speak them out loud but I’ve been missing for a few weeks so the least I can do is (hopefully) make you smile.
Here we go!

10 Crazy Thing ls I Did While Dieting
10. Made a list, complete with pictures of everything I was going to eat after the competition. I, of course, made none of it.

9. Craved things I don’t even like. Squash stands out as one of my bigger cravings. Really.

8. Cried over everything. It didn’t have to be sad or happy or angering and I still bawled like a baby.

7. Sucked on bagels.

6. Made lunch that closely smelled and resembled vomit and it swore it wasn’t the worst thing I ate. My standards for food were so low…

5. Contemplated whether or not Metamucil was considered cheating as it has “real sugar!”

4. Bit my lip accidentally and rejoiced at how wonderful the blood tasted.

3. Made a very pregnant woman cry because she kindly offered me a French fry. Definitely not my finest moment.

2. Eaten ice. You get double points if you freeze something tasty like unsweetened green tea.

1. Made out with someone just because I knew he had just eaten something forbidden to me. Oh, the taste of chocolate and icecream on another person’s lips… Heaven.

So, for all those who had the pleasure of dealing with me during the weeks leading up to the event, thank you. I’ll post some more pictures on Thursday.